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Joke of the Day

"As 1000 year old necromancers, my wife and I have debated a lot. Like with the war in the middle east, she thinks it's justified, but then I bring up the dead."

Next Joke
 
"The New England Patriots deflate balls to win a game... and get punished with a low pressure system."
"Honey, let's make this cactUS a cacti. What I'm saying is I want a divorce, and I'm taking the cactus with me."
"No I don't want to ride in a basket beneath your giant flying fire tent."
"Why are drums a fire hazard? Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss."
"Why did the plant cross the road? Cus it was being stalked!"
"Hate when I lay out too close to the shoreline and the other beach goers team up to try to push me back in the water."
"Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions."
"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"
"What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? Santa stops at 3 ho's."