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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the first sperm that reaches the egg? The ova achiever"

"CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them"

"Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus"

"My wife's name is Elle but I call her ""L"" for short, because I don't have all day."

"Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making"

"If H2O is water, and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide, what is H2O4? Drinking, bathing, watering etc etc."

"Someone stole all the toilets from Scotland Yard Police have nothing to go on."

"Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs? Because one egg is un oeuf."

"Older son just taught me something that I didn't know. Apparently, the seat behind ""shotgun"" is known as ""Kurt Cobain."""

"Excuse me, ma'am. Your car doesn't make you invisible, but I am super impressed by how far you just got your finger up your nose."