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Joke of the Day

"My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it would be the arrr but it's really the sea."

"[meeting with boss] ""I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday."" ""I DON'T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"""

"Why did the dad say the joke instead of act it out? Because it was cheesier said than done."

"What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam"

"why do women not need to wear watches? there's a clock on the stove"

"There were two fish in a tank... one turns to the other and says ""do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Why are football grounds odd? Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!"

"Remember when you used to blow bubbles as a kid? I ran into him the other day, he wanted me to tell you hello..."

"If using your 4yo as a remote control to fetch things makes you a bad parent, then I'm a bad parent... A bad parent with an ice cold beer."