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Joke of the Day

"Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital."

"Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China? Because there are so many ""Wings"" and ""Wongs"" they'd still wing the wong number."

"Imagine if your roommate made you watch a movie and left 10 mins into it. Dick move, right? My point is old people shouldn't get to vote"

"Can't think of a good Halloween costume? Go as a failed abortion. You don't even have to dress up, you uncreative fuck"

"The difference between polygamy and monogamy. Polygamy is having too many wives, but monogamy is having one wife too many."

"Whenever someone says ""Let's kill two birds with one stone"", I wonder what they did wrong. Probably some kind of religious violation."

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids IV: They shrink everyone on earth on purpose The planet will never run out of resources Everyone is eaten by ants"

"What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer."

"Some call it alcoholism, I call it ""keeping my emotions hydrated"""

"If I had a dollar for every time I ever thought of you, I'd probably start thinking about you."