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Joke of the Day
"It was so cold out... I was cold out today, I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."
Next Joke
"When life gives you financial troubles... Make Financialade."
"[to wife on phone] yes spend all our life savings on honey W: but- PLS JUST DO IT *ends phonecall* BEAR [holding gun to my head]: u did good"
"Why do women have babies? Because it hurts and they deserve it"
"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a baseball bat and the other is just.... Well... A watermelon."
"I've always wanted to meet a Syrian ... That's why I'm travelling to Germany next year."
"Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy."
"""Traaains"" - traveling zombies"
"Two parrots were sitting on a perch... One turns to the other and says, ""Can you smell fish?"""
"The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted"