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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a baseball bat and the other is just.... Well... A watermelon."

"I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me."

"What has 200 legs 50 noses and is very loud? A herd of stampeding aardvarks!"

"I bought a lottery ticket the other day. I didn't win anything. I've come to the conclusion that the lottery is a bunch of balls."

"The ""L"" in Samuel L. Jackson stands for ""Motherfucker""."

"[overhears girl at work crying because her grandad & her dad died this month] Me: not all men are like that"

"What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed? McBongald's"

"Does this comic book collection make me look single?"

"What do fake news sites and porn subreddits have in common? No source."

"Women are like bathrooms stalls.... ....they're all dirty, except the handicap ones -Jim Jeffries"