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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day."

"Who said ""Shiver me timbers!"" on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew."

"My girlfriend disliked my obsession with Japanese food Sushi left me."

"For your anniversary, if your wife asks for something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in 3 seconds...don't get her a bathroom scale. Nope."

"What do the Welsh like to do in their private time? Oh, sorry guys. It would've been a baaaaaa-d joke."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and lintel? I've never had a lintel on my chest."

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to screw a light bulb I don't know but to screw a country it only takes one"

"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up"

"Ancestry.com: The southern version of eHarmony."

"TIL You can't have a crusade without... USA"