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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day? Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day."

"Hamster PickUp Line? If I was a Hamster, and I met a female hamster I liked...id say ""Aye Girl, You From Amsterdam? Cause Hamster Damn!"""

"Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator."

"The Wright Way ""I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."" -Steven Wright"

"(Awful joke)What did the Elephant say while scolding her children? Tusk Tusk I am so sorry"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum? With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!"

"Women love a man in uniform, but especially a uniform made from chocolate bars and $100 bills."

"Sex is like a key and a lock. If a lock can be opened by any key, it's useless. If a key can open any lock, that is a good fucking key."

"@NBCSports thank you for making the sports"

"I always set my alarm to 9:11 So I *never forget* to *wake up*."