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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a vaccuum? With a vaccuum, the dirtbag's on the inside!"

"WHO'S ANGRY ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN WASHINGTON? AND WHY? I'M REALLY UNINFORMED."

"As Winston Churchill once said, ""Wait a minute -- I never said this."""

"I think there are female hormones in beer Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive."

"What is the difference between a single 40-year-old woman and a single 40-year-old man? The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them."

"How does post-vasectomy sex compare? There's not a vas deferens."

"Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, ""Suck what?"""

"I invented a sport called Mexican football You take a Mexican and kick him over a wall."

"Q: What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? A: Get bent!"

"What does a baby in a blender sound like? I don't know, I couldn't hear it over the sound of my masturbating."