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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates... It's expensive, you don't like half of it, and sometimes you can give the whole thing to a woman and she still wont have sex with you."

Next Joke
 
"It's raining I'm pouring. Chick at the bar is whoring. We went to bed, she gave me head. Who says conventions are boring?"
"If ur late to an appt, just tell them u had another one, but were on time to that one. That way they associate you with punctuality"
"RIP time spent on Twitter."
"How do you get an art major off your porch? Pay for the pizza"
"I need your best NSFW joke, before our coffee break!"
"I've started picking up dudes by walking into Starbucks and ""accidentally"" dropping my recipe for bacon tacos."
"Pete and Repeat were sitting on a fence. Pete fell off, who was left?"
"A Mexican magician was performing a magic show He said that he will vanish by the count of 3. So he started the countdown Uno Dos And then he vanished without a tres"
"I had a reaction to some nuts the other day.. ""These are a bit hairy."""