54419

Joke of the Day

"""Egocentric"" is an anagram of ""Geocentric"" I guess the world really does revolve around me..."

"Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza."

"What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew Harry Potter escaped the chamber ."

"My family's going to be here soon. Quick, hide my body."

"My friend and I tried to start an erectile dysfunction club today But it flopped and nobody came."

"So a husband asked his wife if it was possible to feel happy and sad at the same time..... She responded that he had the biggest dick out of his brothers."

"This crunchy cat food tastes a lot like I just poured from the wrong packet into my cereal bowl."

"What happens when breed a shark and snowman? You get a frostbite!"

"When I'm sick, I just remember my mother's sage advice: Feed a cold, starve a fever, and drown a soul-crushing depression in food and booze."

"Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence."