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Joke of the Day

"A neutrino walks through a bar."

"I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat."

"How do you know women don't watch porn? They all end up on Back Room Casting Couch."

"I ate catnip today. I enjoyed it, but the cat sure didn't."

"I generally don't trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision."

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"What is the name of your Russian coworker you see the next day? C. U. Tomorov"

"[Creation] God: *creates the crab Crab: ""wtf?"" God:""You're a crab"" Crab:""wtf?"" God:""Now go forth"" Crab: *walks sideways ""WTAF?!"""

"Oh dear... I should get out of the way, he's probably trying to catch a bad guy. -me getting pulled over"

"I just found out how babies are made. Gross!"