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Joke of the Day

"Daughter announced there will be rain for Thanksgiving. We usually have turkey but with her cooking skills rain will taste better."

"What did the Magician say when he took some Adderall? Hocus Focus"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chad ! Chad who? Chad to make your acquaintance !"

"A guy who hates vegans, a guy who hates atheists, and a guy who hates people who do crossfit walk into a bar. And I know this because they won't shut the fuck up about it."

"Magician: ""Think of a card."" Me: ""Okay."" Magician: ""You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!"" Me: ""I was thinking about a get well soon card."""

"""Balls."" said the queen. The king laughed, he had to."

"What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor."

"I can't afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair."

"How does Dallas Cowboys fans change a lightbulb? They don't... they just talk about how good the old one was."

"Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even."