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Joke of the Day

"Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Chuck Norris beats all 3 at the same time."

"An Italian and a black jump out of a tree. Who lands first? The Italian. The black is tied to the tree."

"What did 0 say to 8 ? Nice belt!"

"Why are the best accountants twins from Prague? Because they always double Czech their work!"

"What did the Pharaoh's wife nickname her husband after he farted during sex? Toot n' comin'"

"Rape fantasy Guy: ""Wanna do a rape fantasy?"" Woman: ""No!"" Guy: ""That's the spirit"""

"The length of time toddlers stare at each other on the playground would get you stabbed if you did that shit as an adult."

"I recently saw a Broadway production about the origin of language It was just a play on words"

"Everybody just wants to get off... ....This elevator because that guy stinks"

"Warning to shoplifters: Anyone caught shoplifting will be beaten gagged whipped and tortured. Any survivors will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law."