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Joke of the Day

"What did 0 say to 8 ? Nice belt!"

"Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus."

"Do you know what Twitter is? It's the spot between your twat and shitter."

"I like sleeping with amish women that way i don't have to call the next day"

"Pacquiao knocks out Mayweather in the first round!!!!! 2:05 into the first Mayweather goes down!!!"

"I ordered a book called ""How to relieve stress"" My goodness, for the life of me I really hope that it arrives on time. And that it's useful. And that the delivery man doesn't dislike me."

"There must be something wrong with my phone I haven't gotten a single call about any of the 100s of jobs I've applied to. I think my email is messed up too."

"What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again"

"What's a Christian's favourite chord progression? G,Esus."

"Why Doe's Ellen Pao suck? Because of my big tits."