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Joke of the Day

"Never try to pay a Prostitute with Chocolate covered Ice Cream. Apparently, there ARE limits to what someone will do for a Klondike Bar."

"How can the eurologist tell if he is looking at a man or woman? Well, there is a vast difference."

"How do you know if someone has been to Florida? They'll tell you."

"What do a bunch of celebrity nudes have in common with a stiff breeze? They both can cause reddit's servers to crash."

"Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch."

"Me: Where's your maternity section? Her: Over there. How far along is she? Me: Her? I'm shopping for my Thanksgiving pants. Her..."

"What do you get when you cross a hotdog and a potato? A dictator."

"why did they invent white chocolate? so black kids can make a mess too..."

"What happens when you witness a shipwreck? You let it sink in."

"I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people."