87683

Joke of the Day

"I'm throwing a party and it should be fantastic. I bought three bottles of vodka, made a great music playlist, and didn't invite any people."

"Frankly, I adore your mom. She said I'm the funniest motherfucker that's ever been up in this bitch! And she wasn't talking about Twitter."

"""There's no 'u' in 'favorite'"" - coach telling his British son that he prefers his American son"

"I think calling followers followers is a bit pretentious. I prefer to think of them as curious observers."

"Why will Church's chicken be losing money? Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back."

"States are like butts No one likes the flat ones."

"It's not PC to give your wife a black eye You should really be giving her an african american eye"

"My friend is getting a new car - a ""tangerine"" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?"

"Newspapers The paperboy didn't deliver my newspaper this morning, so I snuck next door and took the neighbours. In hindsight, kidnapping might have been a little excessive"