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Joke of the Day

"Made the mistake of letting my east coast newspaper freeze on the steps this winter... I've fallen on some hard Times."

"Is this the movie where a down and out coach is given a chance of a lifetime to turn these nobodies and misfits into a winning team?"

"Free Tibet I'LL TAKE IT!"

"Happy International Women's Day Or its better known name, Just Another Made Up Holiday No One Gives A Fuck About Day. or my favorite, Tuesday."

"If ""Pretty Woman"" teaches us anything it's that prostitution is a lucrative, whimsical enterprise that every young woman should try."

"Gays and ISIS ... are fucking assholes."

"*Indian Accent* I would make a your mom joke... but cows are sacred in my country."

"Doctor doctor should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No you should do it on a computer."

"I bet deaf people get really confused when they talk to someone who is applying hand lotion..."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."