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Joke of the Day

"What's roughly 6 inches long, has a head on it, and women love it so much that they often blow it? A 20 dollar bill"

"*wife walks in to see the boys have built a chair fort* Wife: PUT THOSE CHAIRS BACK! Me *climbing out of fort* YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!"

"I like my coffee just how I like my slaves Free."

"A psychic Midget escaped from jail yesterday. The papers read: ""Small Medium at Large"""

"[Blind date] Girl: I've always had a bit of a thing for bad boys Dog: [starts putting on his coat] I don't think this is gonna work out"

"I have never understood telephones ,i mean, how can sound travel at the speed of light"

"Professor: I forgot to take my umbrella this morning. Wife: When did you first miss it dear? Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped."

"Doctor Doctor I keep painting myself gold Don't worry it's just a gilt complex!"

"Waiter: May I take your order? Yes, roll over and play dead! Waiter: It's not that kind of order. Oh. Sorry. I'll have the cheese sticks."

"""So you are suffering from flatulences, grandpa?"" ""Suffering? No, that's my last remaining pleasure!"""