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Joke of the Day

"Don't put words in my mouth...my foot is already in there."

"People judge public housing, but it's cheap and your neighbors sell you drugs so I'm not sure I see the problem..."

"My wife has eczema on her Boobs. She has a cracking pear of Tits."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.... Let him out of your basement and he can go back to his family."

"I can still party like I'm 22. Too bad I recover like I'm 82."

"What's worse than seeing your dad's penis? Seeing your mum's."

"Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today."

"ME: Mexican food does NOT agree with me BURRITO: Correct. Your thoughts on middle eastern power structures are banal and imperialist at best"

"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."

"I went swimming in the Black Sea. It stole my trunks."