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Joke of the Day

"What's Mitt Romney's favorite make of vehicle? A Mack truck, because it already has a little dog on top."

"PRO TIP: Name your first child ""butter"", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say ""I can't believe it's not butter!"""

"I always take a condom with me on a night out. Unfortunately, it is always the same one..."

"Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It's just part of being an extremely bad chiropractor."

"There are four things that you can look at into infinity. A flowing water, blazing fire, a woman parking her car, and - in one case - the ceiling of the mausoleum."

"Old experiment #You are now breathing and blinking manually. #also you are aware of your tongue now. Let me know if this worked"

"A fun prank is to search ""buy antique dolls"" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever"

"I bet the first mohawk was created by a guy trying to even out his sideburns."

"What do you get if you cross a shark with a snowman? An empty playground"

"Friends and family are like butt cheeks... Shit seperates them but, they always come back together in the end."