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Joke of the Day

"In my house ""no"" means keep doing it till mom loses her shit."

"When your momma taught you to look both ways she didn't mean be two faced."

"I learned something new about Hordor (GOT SPOILERS) He's Canadian."

"And we're still calling it auto ""correct"" because...."

"When I really sit down and think about it My ass has seen some shit"

"Have you ever seen moth balls? Yeah? Well, how did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"Have you heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game? Every time somebody goes in a bathroom and locks the door, you take four shots."

"How did one Brain apologise to the other? I'm cerebro"

"Where do ghosts go for their holidays? The Dead Sea."

"If meat is murder... ...then is cake battery?"