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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my ships. Full of semen."
Next Joke
"I never forget a face but in your case I'll make an exception."
"these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy"
"chewing tobacco must've been a hard sell: Do you like nicotine but hate smoke but love to spit smelly wet chunks of leaves? Well guess what"
"Ain't therapy great? He yawns, but doesn't seem bored, If you think of his bill, you are poor, If you're feeling blue, and want to get screwed, ""The Rapist"" -it's there on his door."
"Why can't a ghost get anyone pregnant? Because he has a hollow-weenie"
"Have you seen www.hook.com? Yes it's already caught my eye."
"In the political correctness of 2017, is it still ok to call my wife the ""ol ball and chain""? Or is that rude to the ball and chain?"
"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes practice to be good. You have to adapt quickly to your partner's moves. You're gonna sacrifice some horses"
"*feeds a horse 1 pound of weed *rides off into sunset on my high horse"