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Joke of the Day

"Since we're talking about Michael Jackson--- What did the guy say to MJ at the beach? Get out of my son."

"Your mother's cooking"

"4/20 It's Hitler's birthday today... ... I guess that brings a whole another meaning to ""Smoking a J"""

"[solicitor reading my will] ""He [takes off glasses & pinches bridge of nose], He wants to donate his arm to the drummer from Def Leppard""."

"All a farmer needs to do to get a girlfriend is... ...attract her."

"Started a game of hide and seek with my dad 20 years ago haha he's the best where are you man"

"If turkeys go extinct and we start eating giraffes for Thanksgiving, I got dibs on the neck."

"You know why was i mad after a half hour in the bathroom? i couldn't do shit."

"My wife told me she'll leave me if I go blind. I guess I'll just have to see."

"How do you know Sia is Scottish? Because she loves sheep thrills! *shows self out"