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Joke of the Day

"When do cows go to sleep? When it's pasture bedtime"

"A horse walks into a bar. ""Too late,"" says the bartender, ""we're joking about the pope now."""

"*trains 1 million soldier ants* *gets carried to work*"

"What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth."

"I changed my iPod's name to ""The Titanic"". It's synching."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, on a sunny day their light comes from the glass ceiling. edit; missing words"

"If I ever run into my doppelganger I'm going to steal his liver."

"3rd eye: youre on drugs 4th eye: youre a nerd 5th-7th eyes: ??? 8th eye: you are now a spider 9th eye: spider on drugs 16th eye: nerd spider"

"When you tell me to behave you really should be more specific. Behaving badly is still behaving. Technically..."

"My friend was really worried when he had to get tested for HIV. I told him just think positive."