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Joke of the Day

"I heard they're releasing a new yoyo for more formal events It's going to be called a welcomewelcome."

"So Harambe walked into a bar Bartender: What will you be having to drink? Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice? Me: Yes, justice for Harambe"

"should I get a ""hummus"" tattoo in Hebrew and Arabic?"

"Yo momma so fat... yo momma so fat, I crashed into her for 15 minutes"

"[A bengals fan watching Titanic] I can't wait until the end when Jack and Rose get married"

"A man once became addicted to cocaine from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world. Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line."

"Honey, the broken condoms are on the couch again. I thought we were calling the kids by their names now dear."

"Trying to make a collage for my preschooler's art project using magazine cut-outs, but I keep ending up with ransom notes."

"An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. ""How did you get here?"" he asked. And the new angel replied ""Flu..."""

"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Hot as fuck and all over my crotch while I am trying to drive."