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Joke of the Day

"When I Die When I die, I want my last words to be ""I left a million dollars under the..."""

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"If the pope sent an overnight package with a special message, would it be Fed-Ex Cathedra?"
"Ancient Chinese proverb say man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day"
"There is a clerk at the butcher shop. He is 5'10"" and wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weight? Meat."
"What's a pedophile's favorite shoe? White Vans"
"Why did the kid punch the bed? His mother told him to hit the hay."
"So we're all thinking it by this point! Fact of Life: After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W T F"
"How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, but they have to be very tiny"
"What's Michael J. Fox's favorite drink? a milkshake"
"I'm more than happy to take your sloppy seconds. Who am I kidding, I'll take corroded fourteenths."