61005

Joke of the Day

"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."

"Is it just me, or are fewer and fewer mustachioed cads tying women to the train tracks these days?"

"Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist? Because they won't believe it."

"What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer!"

"You might as well shoot for the stars because... Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing."

"Yo momma's so fat... She got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book."

"Two men were in a courtroom... One was charged for eating battery acid, the other was charged of sticking fireworks up his ass The court charged one, and let the other off"

"Study shows 1 out of 3 people are unfaithful to their partner. I wonder if it's my girlfriend or my wife..."

"My friend who worked at a movie theater died yesterday. Funeral services are being held at 3:20, 5:15, 7:50 and 9:10."

"I was trying to trick someone into getting the new Windows But they saw right through me"