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Joke of the Day

"Text REDCROSS to a girl and be like"" oops wrong number, I was trying to donate for the 5th time today"" then she'll sex you guaranteed."

"Trump wants to cut funding for birth control, renegotiate trade deals, and stop the wars in the Middle East. It seems pulling out is his solution for everything."

"Patient: Doctor I am very nervous. You know this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry it's my first extraction too."

"GF asked me last night ""Do you even know why I like cherry coke??"" ""...because it's so delicious."""

"How do male civil unions not end with the phrase ""I dude""?"

"Putin goes on holiday! Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk. Customs officer: Occupation? Putin: No, just visiting."

"UK - We call it Autumn, from the French word ""autompne"" and later, the Latin ""autumnus"" USA - WE CALL IT FALL BECAUSE LEAF FALL DOWN"

"Poker never works well in Africa Ethiopians always eat the chips"

"Your momma is so fat... But I still fucked her."

"What do you call a single use phone book? The YOLO pages."