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Joke of the Day
"Stop Hammertime"
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"When I explained Twitter to my mother she said, ""Sounds like group therapy where no one's getting better."" Well played, Mom. Well played."
"I was invited to a party... 'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too."
"Punctuation can really change a sentence. For example, ""Let's eat kids"" becomes ""Let's eat punctuation"""
"What does a woman and KFC have in common? Well, you start with the breasts and the thighs, and you end up with a greasy box to put your bone in."
"Our culture is like a fungus. It's fucking disgusting but it grows on you."
"What did the hipster stoner call his marijuana pipe? Ira Glass"
"I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places. He said I should prolly not go to those places anymore."
"Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?"
"Why don't witches have babies? Because their men have hollow-weenies!"