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Joke of the Day

"I take my coffee like I take my women... From behind"

"What do you call cheese that's not yours? Colby Jack's."

"So a bunch of women were playing basketball"

"We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive."

"launch my dead body into space but not too far away. if my calculations are correct, i will win the public pool splash contest in 2076"

"Did you hear about the guy who got the left side of his body cut off? He was all right. Andddd I'll see myself out."

"The creepiest thing you can do is drive next to someone on the highway at the exact same speed."

"Welcome to Lion Tamer School. Everyone grab a chair. Good... good. You're all halfway to becoming Lion Tamers now."

"I just wrote go f*** yourself on a piece of paper and put it in the suggestion box at work."

"What do West Virginians call a pretty woman? A tourist."