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Joke of the Day

"Reports are in that Hugo Chjavez has died....hmmmmm Saddam Hussein Osama Bin Ladden Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Fidel Castro Hugo Chavez Not good times for my Fantasy Dictator League..."

"At this point my body would probably mistake a vegetable for a virus and try to attack it."

"My boss: ""Sean, what do you know about Twitter?"" Me: ""nothing. Why? What have you heard?"""

"My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out."

"If you post BDSM jokes on /r/jokes.... Does it count as a submission?"

"How do you build suspense in people?"

"Where does a pornstar go for timeout? The casting couch"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We are efficient, and lack humor."

"Where are the baby leeks? In it's nappy! (diaper for my american friends) (I work in a supermarket, this is how I pass the time)"

"Why does Islam marginalize their women? Because she ain't special, Shiite."