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Joke of the Day

"My wife is SO immature... I was upstairs taking a bath, and she walks in, and for NO REASON WHATSOEVER she sunk all my boats."

"If you can be Batman, always be Batman Some people are Jewish, some are Arabs, but I prefer to be Christian Bale."

"What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? One is a Goodyear, and the other is a great year."

"What gets louder as its gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor."

"You have 90,000 followers, follow 92,000, and all you tweet are @s thanking people for following back. Are you raising an army for Mordor?"

"Dating in your thirties is like finding a parking spot, the only way to get one is to follow them out to their car."

"Yo mamma so dumb... ...her offspring think 'Yo mamma' jokes are funny!"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."""

"2016's been bad! But today is definitely the darkest!"