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Joke of the Day
"You: ""Nice glasses."" Me: ""Thanks. They'd look better on your nightstand."""
Next Joke
"Me: Excuse me sir, what's your Wi-Fi password? Him: *[Leans in] *[Whispers angrily] THIS IS A FUNERAL Me: *[Types in] THIS IS A FUNERAL"
"Jeb Bush Unanimously Confirmed by Senate for Secretary of Low Energy."
"How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son's dick. (Credit to my uncle)"
"Someday I will disappoint a burglar with my one drawer of Taco Bell mild sauce packets."
"it's my birthday today. IK Fuck you too."
"Three small children walk into a bar... These kids not used to times square"
"Let me tell you guys an Alzheimer joke if I can remember it."
"Easily the best knock knock joke for a Dad. Dad: Say Knock knock Son: Knock Knock Dad: Whose there? Son:..."
"How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final front ear."