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Joke of the Day

"How do you annoy a Worldnews redditor? Comment after reading the article."

"The door is not ajar. It's a door, silly!"

"If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes."

"mum just asked me why i was putting icecream on my oatmeal and w/o hesitation i said ""im one of the most dangerous minds of my generation"""

"You can always count on me. Unless standing up for you will make people hate me. Then you're on your own."

"Bounty Towels have declined making a Donald Trump Towel The company explained that it was impossible to make the towel because Donald Trump was already too self-absorbed."

"Sometimes, I like to drink and play guitar..."

"How many dead prostitutes we need to change a lightbulb ? Certainly not three, because in my basement is still dark."

"TIL the USS Colorado made nearly 12,000 career dives during WWII- significantly more than most modern submarines- and sunk the last Japanese warship of the war! Sorry, wrong sub :("

"Just spent an hour attempting to explain to my 3 year the difference between Baltimore and Voldemort."