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Joke of the Day

"You may have the last laugh now, but we'll continue this discussion later when Im alone in my car pretending to be a stupider version of you"

"WANTED: Fun for Chemists (type jokes pls) I'd tell you a good chem joke but the best ones argon."

"I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards"

"There's no bigger psychopath than the guy working out at the gym in jeans."

"My 11 year old cousin just told me this knee-slapper What did the fish say when he swam into a concrete wall? ""Damn"""

"What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out."

"What is a time travelling vacuum cleaner called? Dr Whoover"

"Neighbors across the street have their Christmas lights up, so I invited them to my Easter Egg hunt this afternoon."

"How many girlfriends have you had before me? She asked casually, as she sat on the edge of my bed pretending to be interested in my Warhammer catalogue. Fucking stupid question."

"What do you call man with.. What do you call man with a rucksack on his back and salt and pepper on his head? A seasoned traveller."