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Joke of the Day

"I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards"

"'Marley and Me' has a sequel! It's called 'Me'..."

"How much for that babysitter? Ma'am, that's a roll of duct tape I'll take it!"

"What does ABC stand for? American dyslexia association."

"What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)"

"What does a Jewish pedophile say? Come buy some candy kids!"

"What does an egg do for fun? Kari - YOKE - ee *Ha Ha Ha*"

"Why is everyone afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!"

"What does an onion and a prostitute have in common? They give you really bad breath when you eat them."

"Why do we carve pumpkins for Halloween? Because they're less bloody."