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Joke of the Day

"I'm reexamining my life after buying 63 pounds of unsalted butter because it seems a little weird even by my standards"

"I just got fired from my job at the fruit market. I was driving people bananas."

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"I went to an 'Army Style training day'... I don't feel any fitter but my boots and bed look immaculate."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Basket ! Basket who ? Basket home it's nearly dark!"

"People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot."

"Yo mama so fat I slap her booty before she goes to work. When she comes home, it still wiggles."

"What do you get when you cross the CIA and the Republican Party? Shot in the head in Dallas."

"Bombing Terrorists in Baghdad recently blew up a drainage system. Police there are calling it a sewer-side bombing.."

"This one earned some cutting remarks. If it weren't for the table saw accident, I wouldn't be half the person I am today."