82473

Joke of the Day

"Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter? There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste."

"'You look fat' is both an ice-breaker and a bone-breaker"

"If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack."

"Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter ""u"" in words like ""favourite"" and ""colour""? Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why."

"There was a sign out at the whore house today... It read ""Temporarily closed for lunch; Beat it"""

"enlarger My wife suggested I get a penis enlarger. So I did, she's 25 and her name is Tiffany"

"How did Obama celebrate his reelection? He hosted a Democratic Party."

"Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain."

"I always say ""morning"" instead of ""good morning"". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people."

"I'm going to protect my tweets on Christmas this year so Santa can't ""know when I'm not sleeping or know when I'm awake."" Take that!"