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Joke of the Day

"Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter ""u"" in words like ""favourite"" and ""colour""? Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why."

Next Joke
 
"I've spent the last four years looking for my ex-wife's killer... ...but no one will do it."
"How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso... get it?"
"[Interview room] Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer Me: So where's my present?!"
"Do you think, when they were looking for that Carmen girl, that they ever checked San Diego? Just a thought."
"I have a lips which makes me psecial"
"Some people like instant gratification but I prefer mine brewed slowly from freshly ground gratification beans"
"Did you hear the tragic news about Robin Williams? He's considering a Mrs. Doubtfire sequel."
"My pet lizard was acting really strange the other day so I took it to the vet. She said it was a reptile dysfunction."
"[Request] Anyone know how the 'ten inch pianist' joke goes? I've seen it referenced as a punchline but never heard the actual joke."