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Joke of the Day

"I always say ""morning"" instead of ""good morning"". If it were a good morning I'd still be in bed instead of talking to people."

"Two gay deer walk out of a gay bar and one turns to the other and says, ""Man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there!"""

"Goal weight: ""are you ok, you look sick"""

"I ran into my old girlfriend at the airport, boy she has a lot of baggage."

"Why learn a second language, when you don't have anything interesting to say in your first one?"

"Who was the naughtiest character in Star Wars? R2D2. All of his lines are bleeped out."

"I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in."

"My buddy has tried to stop speaking in such a deep southern accent he's going through withdrawls"

"What gets wetter the more you dry? A woman on a tumble dryer! (Bet you thought I was gonna say 'a towel', didn't you, silly redditors?)"

"I said to the shoe salesman - I'd like to return these shoes... They've got holes in them! Shoe Salesman - Hmmmm yes, that certainly seems to be the Crocs of the matter."