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Joke of the Day

"Made a Freudian slip, with my ex-wife. I meant to say: ""Hello"" but actually said: ""You silly cow, you've ruined my life."""

"A narcissist walks into a bar... The rest of the joke doesn't matter."

"When I was younger, I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts I ate a Brownie."

"-You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim"

"How does a male contraceptive pill work? You put it in his shoe and it makes him limp."

"What does a horny man living in Northern Russia need? He needs two jacket."

"Cop: Save it for the JUDGE! Crook:Ok *crook wraps up last slice of pizza in foil* Lawyer: it's too bad the judge had to miss our pizza party"

"Lionel Richie: I'm easy like Sunday morning Sunday morning: wow I'm right here"

"Have you see the movie constipation? No? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"The average person swallows 3 cats on their drive home from work."