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Joke of the Day
"People are like traffic lights You have to judge them by colour"
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"""The Force Awakens"" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it ""Downton Abbey."""
"Best Jocks https://www.reddit.com/r/Reddit50/comments/3p9d9z/girl_you_remind_me_of_an_alarm_clock/"
"Hypothetically, when is the right time to tell your divorce attorney that you've never been married and you love spending time with him?"
"What is the similarity between household chores and anal? You don't want to do it but your dad gives it to you anyways."
"What's the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay"
"Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?"
"What does Stevie Wonder call his money? Wonderbread. Anyone want to be my friend?"
"How do you know if you have amnesia? I don't know."
"My phone got arrested today... It was charged with battery."