107204

Joke of the Day

"What is the similarity between household chores and anal? You don't want to do it but your dad gives it to you anyways."

"9am: Very busy day today, I need to focus & stay off the internet 1pm: did you know that Texas has the largest population of prairie dogs?"

"I've written a joke about a fat badger, but I couldn't fit it into my set"

"How come, ""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologise mean the same thing... ....except when you say them at a funeral?"

"""Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?"" ""He didn't do his 1st grade homework."""

"Why did Obama tap Merkel's phone? To hear a smart politician."

"ME: woud u be open to adoption? HUSBAND: yes [later, at the adoption agency] ME: yes hi, i'd like to put my husband up for adoption"

"When life gets you down, remember the immortal words of Monty Python. NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

"What did one sailor say to the other on Dec. 7 1941? There's a little nip in the air."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christoper Walken"