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Joke of the Day

"My wife just dropped her keys & said ""What's WRONG with me?"" & I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question."

"Crazy lady next to me forgot to take her meds, flipping out and shit. I hate seeing this. Just going to walk away from my mirror now."

"My daughter does this thing where she copies EVERYTHING the dog does; Bark, beg, fetch etc. It was adorable! Until the dog humped the couch"

"Did you hear about the guy that got trampled by the triplets? He's six feet under now."

"Marry someone who loves Hawaiian pizza so you can just get your own good tasting pizza all to yourself."

"Why is a baby so hard to blend? Because one hand is used to masturbate and the other hand is used to hold the video camera."

"I went to the Air and Space Museum It wasn't as empty as I thought it'd be."

"password that you shouldn't use dick"

"Why cant Gingers make shoes? They wouldn't have a sole."

"Do I like money? $"