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Joke of the Day

"I'm leaving you for an NSA officer ""I'm leaving you for an NSA officer,"" she said. ""But why? What does he have that I don't?"" ""He listens to me."""

"Gave someone a ride to school instead of getting coffee this morning because Mother Teresa has had all the attention long enough."

"If my girlfriend was a Pokemon her name would be...... Vulva-sore"

"Rather than buy a gun, I've been studying ""Home Alone"" and now defend my home with marbles and old gangster movies."

"The only thing I've learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children"

"What did Tennessee? The same thing that Arkansas"

"A man walks into a bar... ... he says ""ouch!"""

"I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china."

"Why don't I play chess with the Prodigy? they smack my bishop"

"Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border."