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Joke of the Day

"People say... People say I'm not a fun loving person. Well some nights I am, some I'm not. That's all folks! I'll be sitting on the bleachers if any one needs me!"

"The one time I actually wanted to use the word ""duck"" in a text... and my phone autocorrects it to ""fuck"". What the duck."

"How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a Soviet Russian?"

"You're doing really well now please pull into this liquor store do you want anything? -Me as a Drivers Ed teacher"

"My wife's credit card got stolen and she doesn't know how... I do, I've been praying for a financial miracle."

"Went to a KKK meeting the other day... It was a load of white sheet."

"I WISH I WAS DUMBER SO I DIDNT REALIZE THE SUBTLE HORRORS OF THE UNIVERSE"

"Why are locomotive drivers so good at driving locomotives? Because they were trained."

"How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Raw Raw Rawhahaha..."

"Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents."