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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones' Locker? Dead men sell no snails!"

"*moon landing* That's one small step for man, one giant leap for updog ""What's updog?"" NOT MUCH JUST WALKING ON THE MOON WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"

"London held a monocle convention for high class members of society... ... it was a respectable spectacle spectacle."

"How many times can you watch the Godfather movies before you're bored? More than a Coppola times....Solozzo times I guess..don't be a Fredo gettin' addicted to it.... It's Kay :)"

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... ...I don't know y"

"I put my pants on like everyone else... As the cop taps on the glass and shines his high beam in my face."

"A man goes to his doctors who is partially deaf. Man: ""Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a volt!"" Doctor: ""You feel like a watt?"""

"[last supper] ""Tonight, one of you will betray me for 20 pieces of silver."" ""30."" ""Sorry Judas?"" [sips wine] ""I didn't say anything."""

"Mickey and Minnie go to get divorced... When the judge asks for the reason, Mickey: ""Because my wife is fucking goofy."" Judge: ""You mean she's crazy?"" Mickey: ""No, she's just fucking goofy!"""

"I'm fairly certain that most of us are one full gas tank away from bankruptcy."