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Joke of the Day

"You know how the bud light campaign got through PR? Because the guys at bud light aren't used to getting consent and don't take no for an answer."

"I couldn't figure out how my seatbelt worked. But then it clicked."

"Got kicked outta Starbucks for trying to order a venti mocha choca latta ya-ya creole lady marmalaaaaaaaaade."

"Donald Trump is still running for president because it is the only race he hasn't offended yet."

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?"

"What is a gay horse's favorite meal? Haaaaaaaaaaaaaay"

"I got a girl pregnant in high school. Her son grew to be 6 foot 7 (200 cm). Biggest mistake I ever made."

"Why would anyone ever think gay people tear apart the fabric of society? They love fabric."

"Facebook tells me today is ""National Winnie the Pooh Day"" ... I hope they're ok with me just wearing a red t-shirt & no pants to the office"

"A thimble, a battleship, a car, a wheelbarrow, a top hat, a dog, a shoe, and an iron walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""I'm sorry, but we don't serve your kind here, can't be part of a Monopoly."""