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Joke of the Day

"The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge."

"Stop saying ""11/11/11"" only happens once in a lifetime. EVERY date only happens once in a lifetime. That's how time works."

"What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? ""Robin, get in the car."""

"What does a French carpenter say when he runs out of nails? I haven't a clous."

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"When you go to the drugstore, why are the condoms not in with the other party supplies?"

"In this day and age, the closest most of us will get to finding happiness is free wifi and an economy-sized tub of Nutella."

"Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it."

"Why did the gay guy cross the road? Because he is gay and the people on the other side of the road hate him and asked him to leave."

"If you're upset with someone, write down your feelings in a message. Put the message in a bottle. Hit them over the head with the bottle."