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Joke of the Day

"I remember the face of every person who doesn't say ""thank you"" when I hold open the door for them."

Next Joke
 
"If you keep your child on a leash in public, I will not hesitate to ask ""Does he bite?"""
"I don't understand how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living."
"Why did the nun always go to the same bar? Habit"
"You know what they say about people with big feet. They have big shoes"
"Tweets What's the difference between a tweet and a twat? One makes the other."
"Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago"
"Astrology Fact of the Day (Aquarius) Aquarius, with an extra M becomes aquariums."
"A nurse found a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thought... ""Some asshole's got my pen"""
"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup Everyone can roast beef"