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Joke of the Day

"Yo momma so poor... that ducks throw bread at her. I fucking lost my shit at a [6]!"

"Just convinced my Mom she won't get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn't see Teen Wolf first. Please play along."

"What do they call a meeting among the most brilliant people in Burger Land? A MEATing of the minds!"

"The Wicked Witch swings a light saber at Obi-Wan just as he throws a water balloon at her. All anyone finds later are piles of clothes."

"There once was a man from Kent, Whose cock was extraordinarily bent, To save himself the trouble, He'd put it in double, And instead of coming he went."

"Is Vanilla Ice's son named Vanilla Extract? Cuz he should be."

"Why did the melons get married in a church? Because they cantaloupe."

"Some Mexican guy just tackled me & put silver/grey tape all over my belly then ran away... I was ab-duct-taped by an alien. (I'm so sorry)"

"What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex? The crayon is non-toxic!"

"Donald trump already has a private jet he plans on putting in production for his presidency. He's calling it the hair force one."